All this week I wrestled with what to write about. After watching a YouTube video from one of my favorite YouTubers HeyShayla, I decided I wanted to write a post being an encouragement to expecting and new parents.

I am a fairly new parent myself, my oldest being only 2 and half years old. Over the last 2 and a half years I’ve seen how the bombardment of information can affect expecting and new parents. Everything out there is telling you what you should buy, what you should do, the best ways to do this and that. It can be very overwhelming.

Here is my advice for new parents to help them not pile on added stress on an already overwhelming life adjustment.

First thing, there is no such thing as a perfect parent but there are a lot of ways to be a good parent. Trying to be what the Internet says is a perfect parent is exhausting, overwhelming and unrealistic. Part two of that is everyone parents differently. What is important to one family may be insignificant in another. You don’t have to parent like anyone else but yourself.

Secondly, you can do things half way. The Internet tends to make you feel like if you want to do something you have to do it 100 percent or there’s a problem. If you want to combo feed do it. If you want to cloth diaper but still want to keep disposables on hand, do it.  If you thought you wanted to do no screen time and realized that the 30 minutes your child watches tv helps you stay sane, do it, unapologetically.  You do what you think is best for your child and your household.

Thirdly, I truly feel like the baby industry is set up to make you feel like you need more than you do. You buy all these things because you think you’ll need them and don’t use or like half of them.  If you aren’t having a baby shower there is nothing wrong with getting the bare essentials. You can wait to get something until the need arises, especially in our world today where we have same day and next day shipping.

Fourth, and maybe I should have put this first for how important it is.  Be open with your birth preferences. So may things can happen during delivery. Being open minded about your birth plan will help you mentally if there is a change to your birth plan.

Fifth, partner resentment is real when you are the default parent. If you start to feel it you aren’t alone. Being aware of it can help you find ways to help.

Sixth, everyone is a perfect parent until they have kids. Give yourself grace for the things you thought you would never do as a parent that you end up doing.

Seventh, if it adds unnecessary stress in your life don’t do it. For instance, I wanted to do the 1000 hours outside challenge but as I muddled through my last trimester, keeping track because too much. Likewise once my baby was born trying to spend hours outside was just too stressful with a newborn cluster feeding all the time. I stopped the challenge. I still try to make a point to get outside and spend time outside but I let go of the challenge because it was causing me too much stress.

Lastly, watch what apps you use. Some baby apps make you think you should be doing things and if you don’t your child will be behind. If you have the physical and mental capacity, have fun and do things to help encourage your child to reach certain milestones. For neurotypical children however, they will learn to turn their head, roll over, crawl etc without you having to buy anything to aid them.

Parenthood is hard enough without adding unnecessary stress on yourselves. I hope this grants you some peace.